![]() Tough weaves together compelling narratives of children whose challenges and progress exemplify the points made, stories of the scientists whose work provides the evidence base for school reforms, and the particular educators who implement those reforms. It is especially convincing because of how well it's written. The book is the latest strong argument for the importance of social and emotional factors in children's learning and achievement, with a focus on the children least well served by the current system. This book is completely relevant and inspiring for anti-bullying advocates, and ought to be required reading for all school administrators, staff - and parents, in short all those interested in improving schools. Write a letter to Monica apologizing for bullying her.Books: Recommended and In Review NJBULLYING.ORG WEBSITE MAIN PAGE Books: Relevant, Some Recommended ( the reviews indicate which is which)Īnother great new book: "How Children Succeed" by Paul Tough. Write a short story about what happened to Monica’s mom. Monica’s mom says she had a secret bully when she was a kid, too.List three other adults Monica could go to, and why. Monica goes to her mother to help her solve her problem with Katie.Write down five reasons why you’re bullying Monica. What would you say to Katie and Monica so that Monica would feel included in your game? Teachers: Encourage students to use prosocial, non-bullying language and solutions in their writing. If other people will be reading this, don’t use names. It’s nice to know that whatever I do, I’m going to be just fine!” Writing Activity for My Secret BullyĬhoose one of the writing prompts below and write a few sentences responding to it in your journal or on a fresh piece of paper. By the end of the book, she has learned what all children should know: “Now that the secret’s out, I don’t feel bad anymore. Most encouraging of all is the turnaround Monica experiences in her self esteem. At the end of My Secret Bully, Ludwig explains relational bullying, its signs, and its solutions to parents and teachers a list of steps that a bullying target can take discussion questions and additional resources, including recommended books about bullying for kids and adults. The ultimate solution to Monica’s problem seems a bit quick and simple-all she has to do to make the bullying stop for good is to look Katie “straight in the eyes” and say, “‘Does it make you feel good to make me feel bad? Because friends don’t do that to friends.’” But if real-life relational aggression takes a bit more work to stop, at least Ludwig gives the reader an excellent and practical starting point. She even role-plays with Monica, pretending to be Katie so that her daughter can “practice out loud what I wanted to say to her, without sounding like a bully myself.” She assures her daughter that she is not alone (even revealing, to Monica’s surprise, that she had the same problem as a kid). Monica’s mom is what most parents aspire to be: calm and resourceful, with the time, patience, and knowledge to say and do exactly the things her daughter needs to solve a painful and confusing problem. Monica never does figure out why her friend Katie turns into her secret bully, and while some readers may find that unsatisfying, it is certainly realistic. Ludwig’s first-person narration and Abigail Marble’s simple but expressive watercolor illustrations reveal a problem that has no clear cause and is not easily solved. Social and Emotional Lessons in My Secret Bully Instead of telling Monica she’s overreacting or imagining it, her mom helps her solve her problem. It isn’t until Monica ends up asking to stay home from school for the third day in a row that her mom finally gets her to reveal her “bullying secret.” Monica is relieved that her mom truly hears her (“she really listened to me”) and doesn’t make light of her concerns. Among other things, Katie whispers about Monica to groups of mutual friends, calls her “Mon-ICK-a,” tells her who she should and shouldn’t play with, ignores her, and intentionally leaves her out of activities.Īnd although Monica does all the right things to deal with it-like calling Katie to talk about it, and then talking to her babysitter about it-they don’t work, and Monica ends up thinking, “Maybe there was something wrong with me.” Monica relates a series of recent incidents with Katie, who has been her friend since kindergarten, that leave Monica confused and hurt. And the next sentence sums up the crux of relational aggression, or emotional bullying: “A lot of people would be surprised to know this because they think she’s my friend.” On the very first page, she reveals that she has a secret bully named Katie. The narrator of My Secret Bully, Monica, doesn’t waste any time.
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